I can't believe I'm not butter.
“I may play the fool at times, but I’m a little more than a pretty blonde girl with an ass that won’t quit.”
I have a PhD in keepin' it real
I suffer from a terrible case of RBF (Resting Bitch Face)
There’s also this nifty little trick called “don’t marry a scumbag”. 100% guaranteed to keep you from being cheated on.