I would love to say that you make me weak in the knees but to be quite...– Derrick Brown, Love Language (via weatherbeatensoul)
starllex: I think about how beautiful the world and the universe and everything it is sometimes and then I go on tumblr and
weeeenhi: One day I just want to own a cute small space with someone who sleeps with me every night in the same bed. Someone who wakes me up with this goofy smile and tired eyes and I want a home where what I love most is who I share it with. And every time I am coming home, I am returning to a heart that is waiting to hold me.
I am not happy. I am not unhappy. I am frozen somewhere in the middle that is so...– Samantha Schutz, I Don’t Want to be Crazy (via lysara)
vibesflint: if i sing around you i am 150% comfortable with you because i fucking hate my singing voice
kaalashnikov: themaus: onediwreckingmylife: at monash university in melbourne the women’s department had a bake sale and cupcakes were one dollar for men and eighty cents for women and seventy cents for trans* people to represent the wage gap and heaps of guys kicked off about it being sexist and that’s how i finally understood how hypocritical and ignorant men’s rights activism is to be...
dean-tacos-cas: spookapple: jackvessalius: look what we have here i have legitimately never laughed harder and for as long in my entire life
avatar-addiction: nicotineenema: Shout out to girls who don’t mind being called dude and man casually shout out to boys who don’t mind being called guuurrl
shakeitbakeitbo0tyquakeit: i hate when the teacher ends a lesson early and gives the class time to talk with each other because im always just sitting there alone for 10 minutes like
peevesies: i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social studies teacher i had a crush on (don’t talk to me) and he was like “hey how are you i haven’t seen you in ages?” and the first thing i blurted out was “I JUST TURNED 18” and jesus christ if that’s not the thirstiest thing i’ve said in my whole life
pizza: *uses snapchat text bar to cover double chin*
rnilkbreath: rnilkbreath: rnilkbreath: rnilkbreath: i was supposed to go to bed an hour ago dont tell my mom my mom says i have to go to bed now which one of u meaners told who the fudge changed ‘fudgers’ to ‘meaners’ WHO CHANGED IT FROM FINNICKS TO FUDGERS I WILL KILL THE POPSICLE DON’T TESTICLE METATRON
cheesecurl: i wanna watch a scary movie with you and we get so scared we accidently end up having sex somehow
thesockmonkeyrenegade: gracethelostgirl: lovewithyous: carolineflack: HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY STOP TEXTING YOU HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY START TEXTING YOU HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY
tylerfucklin: can you imagine if someone sent you a list of all the reasons why they love you. why would i want blank paper
How to braid your hair:
lucifersblog: washingtub: Wet hair Comb through Separate at the part Draw a pentagram on the floor Perform blood sacrifice Offer up your soul to the devil Chant ancient Latin conjuration spell Summon Satan Ask Satan to braid your hair You know what? Screw you. I am done braiding people’s hair. Do you know how many braids I have done today? Thirty-fucking-seven. And I don’t even...
just-laff: egberts: if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket you are one of the great thinkers of our time
colsandbradders: i am so slow you can look at the posts on a certain day? jfc url.tumblr.com/day/2011/12/25 <- what you posted last christmas omfg chRIST WHY DIDN’T I KNOW THIS BEFORE???? makes my fckn life EASIER
florenceandthepoutines: I could go for a nice make-out session up against a wall right about now.
vondell-swain: she wear snort snirt i wear sneep snop
earthnation: will u still love me when im no longer young and ok looking
sweeneytad: *dentist slaughters family in front of you* they’re bleeding because you don’t floss
boy: shit baby you're so wet already
girl: that's actually just vaginal discharge and my body is cleansing itself from bacteria and dead cells to prevent infection and to maintain optimal reproductive health i'm not even all that turned on right now and i would prefer to go get some food or something
freudwasmybitch said: I feel you babu. It gets more and more intense as time goes on. Especially since he’s fucking talented as shit. I Just do not have the stability right now to handle a celebrity obsession. I JUST CAN’T DO THIS RIGHT NOW.
assbutt-in-the-garrison: sunshineface0014: assbutt-in-the-garrison: I need my glasses to find my glasses do you see my problem You can’t even see your problem
elisetheawesome: kyoukokiriqiri: why do we call periods “periods” when we can call them something cooler like “bloodstain fever” or ”the crimson horror”
freudwasmybitch said: HE’S A SNARKY BITCH WHEREVER HE GOES AND A CUTIE PIE WHENEVER HE’S NOT AND I JUST CAN’T HANDLE HIM AND HIS EXISTENCE. Also he’s never really a bitch just snarky. I just have so many feelings and it sucks, I never have feelings. Fucking Dylan O’Brien Just. I just. I cANT ANYMORE. I WANT TO HAVE HIS BABIES. LIKE TONIGHT.
WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY IN SPANISH
freudwasmybitch replied to your post: So I knew Dylan O’Brien was cute and all but no… I’M SO GLAD I CAN TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS NOW. I NEED HIM. IN MY BED. but like Eric. He has always been the sarcastic cutie from teen wolf to me and I never thought anything of it. And then he just shows up in this movie I went to the pre-screening for and he’s all smart and snarky LIKE TWO OF THE...
njena: i think the reason perfume commercials are so weird is because they have to advertise a smell without using smells
So I knew Dylan O’Brien was cute and all but no one told me he was a fucking sex god like what the fuck guys thanks for the heads up.
internetexplorers: we could be married with like 4 kids and i’d still be too scared to text you first
lalalafrickyou: bloody-nips: i’m watching Extreme Couponing and i just saw a woman rack up a charge of over $1000 and then her coupon game was so fucking raw by the end of it the store owed her $8. what the fuck “her coupon game was so fuckin raw” is basically the best string of words ever concocted
falloutyoungmale: I write sins not five page research papers
mykittyisbeautiful: karensbabe: “Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say.” -John 8:43 wait did Jesus just say the equivalent of did I stutter Jesus is so sassy
boydivision: when you try to move a fly away with your hand and it’s too slow and you end up TOUCHING I T
milkshakeprincess: trying to tell a joke to someone you’re meeting for the first time and fucking it up
ostracizedpoodle: am i the only one who doesn’t have a tumblr