I can't believe I'm not butter.
“I may play the fool at times, but I’m a little more than a pretty blonde girl with an ass that won’t quit.”
I have a PhD in keepin' it real
I suffer from a terrible case of RBF (Resting Bitch Face)
Yes. Leave me alone with the individual with whom I no longer have the one thing in common that we had in common literally NOT EVEN A FUCKIN HOUR AGO
If my life could be made into a made-for-TV movie I promise it would be nonstop rotfl. So much comedy everywhere. Like just. HaHAHAHAahaha. Nice.
I would really enjoy some sexual, initiated by him, plenty-of-time activities this evening is that too much to ask I think not. I. Think. Not.
oitnb season 3 wishlist:
- poussey’s happiness
- alex fills in her eyebrows more thickly
- literally anyone utters the word “bisexual”
to know miss claudette is okay
yo but this says so much about rape when a woman would literally rather be around a murderer than a rapist
im not gettin texted back but im not worried bc i know that God Is Fighting My Battles
i love when dogs sigh. its like, hey bud, long day at the office?
When people compare the greatness that is The Simpsons to other animated shows like Family Guy it makes me want to set myself on fire
I went on a date last year and jokingly said “Don’t ask me I’m just a girl” and giggled at a 35 year old man thinking he’d get the reference and instead he said “that’s what I like to hear.”